Desire

This is a topic I studied a few months ago, but I keep coming back to it.  I feel like desire keeps coming up as the answer to my problems. If I could just acquire a desire to change, to be more productive, be a better missionary, have more faith, have more charity, be more patient, then I would be able to set goals and work toward it, use the atonement and do it already.  But it all has to start with a desire- without one you can't or won't change.

Have you ever known someone who has a big problem (health, money, addiction, stress, anything) and you know they could fix it.  Heck, you even know HOW they could fix it, but they just won't?  Lack of desire.  Nothing can ever change without first the desire to change- for us or anyone else.

So the golden question is:  how do we acquire that desire?  How can you foster a desire when there just isn't much there?  I'm going to just be focusing on ourselves here- how to foster desire in ourselves.  Because try as we might- we have little to no control over other people's agency or desires.  That's tricky business, we'll stick with ourselves.

And honestly, I'm going in with no idea as to what the answer is to this question, in fact, I'm quite curious what I'll discover because I feel like I've been in a funk lately.  I know I could change and be better, more motivated, more productive, but I just feel like why?  I don't feel like it.  I can't summon up the desire for it even though I know I'd be happier- a better wife, mother, friend and Christian if I could summon that desire.  So, here's hoping.  Let's look at the scriptures.

(Other topics on desire to consider:  ultimately it all comes down to desire, if we desire, it will be given us- just need to summon a great enough desire.  We'll also ultimately end up whereever we desire (one of my favorite parts of the plan of salvation)- whether that be with God or not.  Have you ever tried to make someone do something they don't want to do?  Hard, very hard.  Desire must come from within to bring about effective change- can't force it- that's why God's plan won over Satan's).  Inactives will never come back until they desire it)

Psalms 37:4-5  "Delight thyself also in the Lord and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.  Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass."

       Verbs here offer some suggestion- delight, commit and trust.  Good verbs to bring about or strengthen desire.

Psalms 40:8  "I delight to do thy will.  O my God, yea thy law is within my heart."

         Here again, it starts with delight or to take pleasure in.  Delight leads to desire.  I guess that makes sense.  You can't gain true and faithful desire if we're depressed or unhappy esp with God.  So first, delight in God.  Gratitude.

Ps 145:19  "He will fulfill the desire of them that fear him: he will also hear their cry and will save them."

         Fear of God, or respect and honor also seems to be a pre-requisite to the fulfilling of our desires.

Prov 10:24  "..the desire of the righteous shall be granted."

Prov 11:23  "..the desire of the righteous is only good."

        This verse explains the previous one.  Desires of the righteous are granted BECAUSE they are good.  So, you need good desires.  Meaning, you need to be good AND your desires need to be good.  Both.

Isaiah 53:2 "...when we see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him."

      We can't desire Christ for worldly reasons (popularity, wealth, power, praise)- he has none of these things.   We can only desire him spiritually.

Haggai 2:7  "...the desire of all nations shall come."

       Everyone will get what they want in the end.

Mark 9:34  In this verse, the disciples want to know who will be the greatest.
v 35 "...if any man desire to be first, the same shall be last and servant of all."

        Wanting to be greatest means being least or serving all.  Interestingly typically if you want to be greatest, it's for selfish reasons and this will come to nothing.  You'll lose in the end.  Wanting to actually be greatest means giving 100% and being entirely unselfish.  Our desires need to be unselfish in order to come to pass.  Usually our selfish desires get in the way of our unselfish ones.  We need to find a way for our righteous ones to trump and become more powerful than our selfish ones.  How?

Luke 22:31  "Simon, Satan hath desired to have you."

         Satan works according to his desires too.  We all do.  He desired his own selfish desires and he got them.  He's just never been happy.

Romans 10:1  "Brethren, my heart's desire and prayer to God for Israel is that they might be saved."

      Paul's righteous desire of his heart- he prays for it.  Figure out what the desire of your heart is and pray for it.

1 Corinthians 14:1  "Follow after charity and desire spiritual gifts."

       Here we go.  To gain righteous desire- follow after charity.  Good advice.  We also have to desire spiritual gifts- we need to want faith, charity, miracles.

Eph 2:3  "....we all had our conversation in times past in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind."

         Desires of the flesh include lust, being overly fixated on looks, physical appetites and and indulgence.  Desires of the mind include pride, honor of men, intellectualism.  The mind can trick you.  Make sure your thoughts are in accordance with your righteous desires.  This is how we can ensure our righteous desires trump our selfish ones- think about them often and don't think about your selfish ones.  Desires lead to thoughts, which lead to actions which lead to who we are.  Desires lead to thoughts, but also thoughts can lead to desires.  We must squelch unrighteous desires (don't humor these thoughts) and encourage righteous ones (humor these).

1 Tim 1: 6-7 "...some have turned aside unto vain jangling.... desiring to be teachers of the law..."

          The desire to be a teacher of the law seems like a good desire, but if God isn't our #1 desire- if the desire to teach the law starts to trump more righteous desires, it can be bad, even deadly to our spirits.

James 4:2  "Ye lust and have not, ye kill and desire to have and cannot obtain."

      If desires are placed on the world or evil, you will never obtain.  You will never have enough.  I think you will get what you want to a degree- worldly success or wealth, power, beauty, but once your desires are fixated there, you are never pleased.  Even when you've gotten what you wanted, you want more.  That's the irony of selfish desires- there's no end in attainment.  Compare that with righteous desires- if you desire, ask and labor, you will obtain.  But this attainment is coupled with fulfillment and satisfaction.

1 Peter 2:2-3  "As newborn babes desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby.  If it so be that ye have tasted that the Lord is gracious."

     If you taste his grace, you'll want more.  This is how to change desires.  Experiment.  Ask for grace- obtain it and you're righteous desires will grow and grow.  Love the image of newborn babes.  Innocence like a child desires Christ.

1 Nephi 8:12 "And as I partook of the fruit thereof it filled my soul with exceedingly great ^ajoy; wherefore, I began to be ^bdesirous that my family should partake of it also; for I knew that it was ^cdesirable above all other fruit."

     Once you've experienced the 'exceedingly great joy' of the Lord, you want more of it and want your family to have it too.  So, to gain desire- partake of the fruit- try, experiment, walk the path.  The desire will spread on it's own once you experience the fruit.

Enos 1:9  "...when I had heard these words [about his own faith] I began to feel a desire for the welfare of my brethren; wherefore I did pour out my whole soul unto God for them."

     Same as Lehi, when he was saved (repented), he began to desire it for others.  It's the natural progression of conversion that once you've experienced something wonderful- conversion- you desire it for your loved ones and then for your enemies, or all men.  Repentence could be another spark with desire.  Clean slate.

Enos 1: 11 after the Lord speaks to him again, "...my faith began to be unshaken in the Lord and I prayed unto him with many long strugglings for my brethren the Lamanites."

    Once his prayers are answered for himself and then his brethren, he doesn't just stop, say thanks and rest or basque- he immediately struggles with many long struggles in praying for his enemies.  This shows true conversion.  It also shows the power of real desire-of-the-soul type of prayers.  It's hard, he struggles, he prays like everything depends on God and he is answered every time.

v 12 "..after I had prayed and labored with all diligence, the Lord said unto me, 'I will grant unto thee according to thy desires because of thy faith."

     Once we gain desire, our desires are met by faith, prayer, labor and diligence.  I think this is how our desires grow as well.


Alma 29:4  "I ought not to harrow up in my desires the firm decree of a just God, for I know that he granteth unto men according to their ^adesire, whether it be unto death or unto life; yea, I know that he allotteth unto men, yea, decreeth unto them decrees which are unalterable, according to their ^bwills, whether they be unto salvation or unto destruction."
 v 5 "....he that knoweth not good from evil is blameless, but he that knoweth good and evil, to him it is given according to his desires."

         Interesting.  Knowledge is a caveat to getting what you want I guess because maybe you understand the consequences better, or at least your choice better.  Maybe if you increase knowledge, God will increase the granting of your desires.  Or maybe desires become more holy with increased knowledge.  (Knowledge here means an understanding of good and evil) Increased knowledge is how we gain holy desires.  A vision of the eternities, our potential, what we can be, what God is and what He sees in us.  THIS is how we gain desire.  Knowledge is power.  This kind of knowledge can only be gained by personal searching and study.

Alma 41: 5 "The one raised to ^ahappiness according to his desires of happiness, or good according to his desires of good; and the other to evil according to his desires of evil; for as he has desired to do evil all the day long even so shall he have his reward of evil when the night cometh."

    Same idea as Alma 29:4, desires for happiness brings happiness, desire for misery brings misery.  Every time.  We just have to make sure we always WANT to be happy.  And we don't always.  During those times, we can't wonder why we're not happy.  It's because we don't really want to be.  Once we really want it, we can start our desires for good, gaining knowledge and faith and we will be happy again.
       So why would we not choose happiness all the time?  We feel we don't deserve it, we don't believe we can obtain it, we think our circumstances are too bad to dictate happiness or just apathy.  But I still think once we truly desire to be happy and are done desiring misery for whatever of the above reasons, we can find it.  Verse 7 says it well:
"These are they that are redeemed of the Lord; yea, these are they that are taken out, that are delivered from that endless night of darkness; and thus they stand or fall; for behold, they are their own ^bjudges, whether to do good or do evil."

3 Nephi 11:23 This verse basically says whoever desires baptism- baptize them.  Which teaches us, if others have righteous desires- help them meet them.

D & C 3: 4 "[whoever] follows after the dictates of his own will and ^fcarnal desires, he must fall"

           We all have our own will and carnal desires.  Just having them shouldn't incur guilt.  We just can't follow them or entertain them or else we will fall.  Fall from grace, progress, the church, righteous goals?  Depends I guess, but fall from something.

D & C 7   In this chapter John the Beloved desires to live forever to preach the gospel and it is granted.  Peter desires to speedily come into God's kingdom.  God says both desires are good, but John's is better.  However, he grants both.
v 8  "...ye shall both have according to your desires, for ye both joy in that which ye have desired."

      I love, love this last verse.  God wants us to be our most happy, but will never force us.  It is always our own choice.  It also just shows how much God wants us to have joy.  He granted their desires FOR ye both joy in it.  I think most all of us choose what we do because we think it will grant us happiness.  Unfortunately we seem to be pretty bad judges of what will actually make us happy, or what will make us eternally happy (indulgence isn't the answer, idleness, pleasure).  The only we way we can achieve real happiness is by submitting ourselves to God's will- by figuring out what HIS plan of happiness is for us.  We must align our desires with His.  But even still, even though He knows what will make us truly happy- he never forces it on us.  We can always choose and He will always respect and even grant our desires.  It's a very loving God we have.

D & C 18: 38  "..by their desires and their works you shall know them."
v 43 "... and after you have received this, you must keep my commandments in all things."
D & C 137: 9  "... I will judge all men according to their works, according to the desire of their hearts."

      Desires and works are linked to define us.  They must go together.  We will be judged by our desires AND our works.  Can't just have desires without acting on them.  Perhaps righteous desires aren't quite strong enough if we aren't willing to act and they need to be augmented.

Ok, so in conclusion, here are some ways I've found that we can gain or augment righteous desire:
-  delight, commit and trust
-  delight, gratitude
-  make sure our desires are righteous and not selfish
-  figure out/analyze what the desire of your heart is and pray for it
-  follow after charity and desire spiritual gifts- want miracles, faith, charity, etc
-  humor righteous thoughts and don't humor selfish ones
-  experiment- if you experience grace, you'll want more
- partake of God's fruit- try, walk the path
-  repentance
- faith, prayer, labor and diligence
-  Increased knowledge! A vision of the eternities, our potential, what we can be, what God is and what He sees in us
-  want happiness- squelch the reasons you don't want to be happy
-  do not follow carnal desires
-  align your desires with God's desires for you
-  figure out what His plan of happiness is for us and submit yourself to it
-  be willing to act on desires

Out of all these wonderful ways to gain desire, it's hard to know what the first step is.  But I think it might be repentance.  I think in order to do a lot of these things- we need the spirit, meaning we need a clean slate.  Repent of having a lack of desire or apathy or whatever has been holding you back from righteous desires.  Then, I think we need to increase our knowledge and vision by studying and searching.  We need to seek what God's plan of happiness is for us, what our potential is and what God sees in us.  Then, we need to do some more soul searching to discover the true desires of our heart.  Once we've discovered what those are, the real work begins.  We must guard those desires from Satan.  Pray like everything depends on God, have faith, pray, pray, pray, pray.  Pray that we will no longer humor our selfish thoughts, pray for faith to believe God will answer our sincere prayers for the desires of our hearts.  Create a plan, goals to accomplish your desire.  Ask for grace, ask for help all the time.  Always think of what you can be doing to change your circumstances.  Ask for the power to change your circumstances, not to have your circumstances changed.

Formula for gaining desire:

1. Repent.  2.  Increase knowledge and vision.  3.  Discover desires of our hearts.  4.  Make a plan- goals.  5.  Pray, pray, pray.



As a PS I'll include some good quotes from Neil A Maxwell's talk "According to the desires of our hearts."
"Remember, brothers and sisters, it is our own desires which determine the sizing and the attractiveness of various temptations. We set our thermostats as to temptations."
   -  Fascinating.  We often act like our temptations are just inflicted upon us, and maybe they are initially, but we can determine their size and attractiveness, or the extent of the temptation by how much we desire that sin. And desires can be trained and changed- that's very encouraging.

"Only by educating and training our desires can they become our allies instead of our enemies! ... educating and training our desires clearly requires understanding the truths of the gospel, yet even more is involved...... knowing gospel truths and doctrines is profoundly important, but we must also come to love them. When we love them, they will move us and help our desires and outward works to become more holy."
     - First off, I love the idea that our desires can be educated and trained.  Educated?  How?  I guess it's by knowledge of gospel truths and how God and Satan work.  But then training them requires loving those truths.

"Even a spark of desire can begin change.....Each assertion of a righteous desire, each act of service, and each act of worship, however small and incremental, adds to our spiritual momentum. ....Brothers and sisters, a loving God will work with us, but the initiating particle of desire which ignites the spark of resolve must be our own!"
      -  That's encouraging that the littlest spark of desire can do the trick.  The trick is then adding those little acts of service and worship.  I love the way he says "the initiating particle of desire which ignites the spark of resolve."  Here he does not say spark of desire, but spark of resolve- that's the difference and the key.  It has to be a desire leading to resolve to act, to change.